Why should we judge someone from a photo?
What gives us the right to determine how kind or caring a person is through a single image that was captured. I was with a group of my friends and we were all discussing men to which point one of the girls said she'd started speaking to someone. Instantly two of the girls reacted by saying "wait show me a picture first" obviously to see what he looks like. As if that one photo can tell us anything about him as a person. I love my friends don't get me wrong but it angers me how we base so much of our perceptions on a persons face. I have seen some of the most beautiful looking guys on photos, you meet them and their personality is horrendously ugly. That's not saying every single good looking person is a complete tool because I also know some people have both a beautiful soul along with a beautiful exterior.
When I was younger I was always drawn to the "pretty boys" and obviously in my state of immaturity I believed that looks were the soul purpose of being with someone. First attraction then you fall in love. But as I grew up and have experienced more along the way I have really learnt that beauty is only skin deep and it doesn't keep you warm at night. Obviously you have to have an attraction for someone otherwise how will you be intimate with them? But speaking from personal experience we all tend to confuse lust with love. I used to love it if my friends all thought the guy I was talking to was "fit". It used to make me feel like "YES he must be so good looking and oh my god he's talking to me". But realistically at the time I didn't even know his middle name or know what makes him cry. Those little things now mean more to me than having all my friends fancy the guy I'm seeing.
I feel as though we are surrounded by a society that first impressions mean everything. Take tinder for example, a dating app based solely on whether you think somebody is attractive.Do we actually look at the persons bio or description? Or are we too drawn to seeing who's better looking. Where did the good old fashioned courting go? Where a man and woman date for a while to get to really know each other and attraction and love builds. Rather than judging a guy/girl on how well they photograph. Maybe I'm a bit too old fashioned in some respects but I thought I'd share with you my opinion. I'm going to wait and meet someone when I'm meant to meet someone, not that I disagree with dating apps because for many people they have amazing success and find the love of their lives but I would rather get to know someone in person than date them through an app. Probably silly of me because my future husband is probably sitting on tinder right now haha.
I have learnt that for me, I understand we are all different but I would much rather have someone with a beautiful heart and soul than be incredibly good looking. But on the contrary I wouldn't be with someone just because they're a lovely person, they'll be my friends not my future husband. I just think that in our society and world nowadays it's so easy to always look for "the best" but who's to say when you get "the best" you won't be looking for something "better". There is always someone better looking, more talented, kinder etc but life isn't about finding greener grass, it's about watering your own.
I've been single for a long time now and I know exactly what I want, I'm not striving for perfection because that's not realistic. But I want someone who makes me laugh, cuddles me when and holds me close because he can see I'm anxious, someone who has the ability to relax me by just holding my hand and reassuring me. Those qualities my friends to me will not be visible from seeing how good he looks in a Facebook profile picture or how many likes he gets on an Instagram photo. So the next time someone asks you to show a picture, maybe tell them about him/her first and remember: you don't need anyone else's validation other than your own. The only persons opinion who really matters is your own because that is how you find your own happiness.
Being single has given me the time to reflect on the past and I have developed the ability to try and learn from my mistakes. I guess by writing this post I'm attempting to break free from the superficial world were surrounded by. I know what I want and I'm fully content being single until it comes along.
What I'm trying to say is that in order to find love, you can't just scratch the surface you have to dig deep and figure out what you truly want from a man/woman. It's easy to find someone you're attracted to, but is that the person you want to marry or have as the father/mother of your children.